I Am Not Angry

I am not angry. It seems like anger is a go-to emotion these days. I can get upset at consumerism and how marketing makes spending money easy and something to get sucked into. How commercials make me feel inadequate. How I was ‘unable’ to resist and got so overwhelmed.

We take control of our lives. We need to take responsibility that we do what we want to do and we are really in charge of our lives. It is easy to get convinced to do things, even things that are not great for us. The hard part is seeing what things are really worth and if they deserve to be apart of your life.

We have one life. If something does not impact your life in a positive light, make a change. If you want to spend less- SPEND LESS, if you want to have less- HAVE LESS. If you want to make a change- MAKE THE CHANGE.

Of course some things are easier said than done and making changes aren’t always the end all. I am at a constant battle with myself to be more organized, eat healthier, spend less, and you name it. But I am not going to be angry, and for that note I no longer want to be sad either.

Life is overwhelming and damn it’s hard. Have faith, hold yourself accountable, and make goals. You are in control.

**YOU GOT THIS**

Side note: My wonderful friend bought me these beauties when I was diagnosed with a Thyroid disorder a couple of months ago. These are now my motivational socks!

Shout out to T.E. ❤

Leave me a comment: How do you stay motivated to make changes and continue your journey?

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Honest September Additions

After this month I have decided to start each shopping month on the 1st of each month and not the 8th as originally stated. This will make it easier to log my progress. The reason; although this happened in September, the actual month some of this falls under is August.

Anyways I bought three items of clothing in September. The honest total rounded to the nearest dollar $69. OUCH. So what now and what did I Buy?Read More »

Credit Card Pie Chart – Not So Delicious

I (mainly) use one credit card for all my spending needs. The credit card I use has a wonderful pie chart that categorizes your spending for the month. I have lightly viewed this from time to time but never really LOOKED at it. Since I am going down this road of spending less I decided now was the time to look at my previous trends.

To be honest it was quite upsetting. Why on earth did I spend 800$ on retail in one month alone? What was I thinking? Luckily not all months were quite so bad. That was by far the worst spending month and to say I am sad is an understatement. The worst of it, is that the 800 dollars of items are mostly sitting in my already cluttered closet being under utilized and most likely to be donated in the near future. All I can hope for is that some of the items I bought will be favorites and I can get my moneys worth out of them.

It is so easy to let purchases get ahead of us. When spending hard-earned money is as easy as a swipe it takes the impact out of actual purchases. I knew it was bad, but I didn’t realize how bad.

These passed 3 full months has been an interesting ride so far. I am still in the thick of finding my way. But if I were to give out any advice so soon it would be to be diligent when it comes to spending. Review your purchases and tally how much money you are spending on the habit.

 

Pants to a Wedding

I love weddings. The love in the air. The beautiful clothing and best dressed bridal party.

After my shower I went to the spare room closet where I have stashed my dresses. I grabbed all the formal wedding attire dresses and started putting them on one at a time. Only two dresses fit (although still snug).

I decided on a navy blue dress. Still unhappy with the snug belly area, I decided to try it with my tummy-suck-it-innies (AKA spandex). It made the dress look much better, but it made me feel like I was being suffocated. I didn’t want to feel like I was getting the life squeezed out of me. I even pondered running to the store to get a dress that actually fits comfortably.

I have never been to a wedding and not worn a dress, ever. I just love the look of dresses and I love how I feel in them, but could I wear pants? I put on my favorite black slacks and the rest of the outfit came together so nicely. I even wore my favorite blazer.

The wedding took place outside on waterfront property. The wedding was beautiful, the location was beautiful, the people were beautiful, and I was beautiful too.

Clothing Account Balance: -$40

Swimsuits for DAYS

I have eleven swimsuits. I only go in open water or pools maybe 5 times a year on average. This means I have more swimsuits than I do days I wear one each year.

I have so many swimsuits for the same reason I have extreme numbers of just about every type of clothing I own. I felt like to stay trendy and look my best I needed a better one than I had last year. Also, that each time I buy a new one I will look better and be generally happier.

Every year I know warm weather is on the way when I go to a store and see the new swimsuits at the front of stores. (Usually while still in a winter coat.) I would get excited, time to find a new swimsuit that is hopefully more flattering than the one I wore last year! Challenge accepted.

I would try on suits until it convinced me to never eat again at least for a short amount of time (or to buy some kale). But, I would look and look and look until I would find one I liked the best and cha-ching brand new suit to bring home.

If I were told today a rat had gotten into my swimsuit drawer and only one swimsuit survived the rodents destructiveness, I know which one I would want it to be. I look forward to knowing this in the future and being able to instantly get rid of the non-favorites. But I am not yet at the point where I want to get rid of things before I am emotionally ready to.

I look forward to entering fall without the want to buy new coats, sweaters, gloves, and scarves just because.

Clothing Account: -40$

Original Content: 8/27/17

 

 

 

Having Nothing to Wear

It was almost time to meet our friends for dinner. I wanted to dress a bit nicer than my everyday clothes. I tried on just about everything I owned that fit and nothing I mean NOTHING looked good. After filling my bed with a large pile of discarded clothing that did not look good, I settled on a standard outfit I would wear daily for work.

I was very disappointed. I wanted to look cute and feel good. I did not feel either of those things. For work and daily life, jeans and a nice shirt is fine and I feel good, but when I wanted to look cute and dress fancier, my wardrobe did not deliver. Usually when this happens I would run to the store and buy the things my wardrobe was “missing”.

The truth is that my wardrobe is not missing anything. I have all the clothing types I wanted to wear. The problem is that I am heavier than usual (baby weight still clinging to my frame) and felt uncomfortable. The clothing fit me, I just don’t like the way my body looks. Clothing only helps to a certain point.

My truth is that I am not used to seeing myself at this size and buying more clothing would not change my comfort level.

I forced myself to not go shopping even though I felt a huge urge to do so. Instead I was forced to deal with my feelings and not put a band-aid over my comfort level by buying new things. The new things only work for a short time until something like this would happen again.

What I need is not new clothes, I need to treat myself better. I need to feel more comfortable in my skin that gave birth a few months ago to a tiny human, and have patience that I will grow comfortable with my body again.

Clothing Account: -70$

original content: 7/31/17